This week I have proven to myself and my kids that you never know what you are capable of doing until you try. The constant juggling of work, family and racing continues to be difficult for me. I am still struggling to get enough time to train, enough time to spend with the family and enough time for continuing education for work. On of the recent struggles around the house has been working on the kids becoming more independent at home, taking on challenges and the importance of practicing/training.
Making the kids do more around the house has been very difficulty for me for many reasons. First there is convincing the kids that they can and MUST do the chore that I have assigned to them. Second is the patience I must behold as they attempt, fail, procrastinate and whine. I want them to be confident, I want them to feel accomplished but, man, I also want it done quickly and neatly. I know that perfection takes time. I know that they must do it over and over before they can do it faster, but come on, who has time to wait! Sometimes they finish more defeated due to the pushing from me, sometimes they have a smile on their face from accomplishing a task they were sure was way too difficult for them. I, on the other hand, always feel frustrated and defeated as mom in how hard I pushed them. This will make them better adults, right??
Today I saw a break through. The kids are on spring break. They wanted to go to The Jump Park, an indoor trampoline park. I gave them each a task to do around the house before we left. They all gladly and enthusiastically completed their tasks. Ok, ok so it may have been bribery that actually motivated them, but hey it worked! Afterward there was no whining, no defeat and one of the kids even said "so now I see how things can get done quickly if we all work together." Wow they do listen. One proud mom moment.
Part of being a mom is not only asking them push themselves hard but also leading by example. I feel that I must show them what dedication and determination can help them accomplish. As I go through this race season I never take a race for granted. When the kids ask "are you going to win this race mom?" I always respond "You never know how hard the others will ride, I am going to have fun and try my hardest." This weekend was one of those lessons for them and for me. I had not been training for this long of a distance. I have only been riding in races which are less than 30 miles or 3 hours long. This weekend I participated in a 6 hour race with some very tough competition. Again riding with ladies who compete at higher levels than I do, ride more often than I do, and train harder than I do. I went in with one goal, start off well, save some power for later and try to stay toward the front. I actually started very well, was in the lead during the first lap, second in second lap and then leader again in lap three. During lap four I was leading but my helmet light was fading. I had to stop. I did this knowing that I was giving up first place. As I completed the fourth lap and went into the fifth lap I was tired, feeling defeated and hitting the proverbial wall. I had to continue to tell myself "if you want it, you have prove that you want it more than your competition". This kept me motivated and moving. I tried to make up ground. I wanted to make sure I did not give up second place. I was hopeful to catch back up with first place. I never did find her until the finish, where she was waiting for me. tunefully I did not even believe that I could have finished second in this race. It was a great feeling to have ridden 50 miles so well, feeling accomplished and proud. I can only hope that my kids see that with determination you will accomplish more than you thought possible.
It takes quite a bit of determination, patience, and consistency see what you are made of. This is what separates the tough from the average, the achievers from the commoners, leaders from followers. I want my kids to continue to push themselves, be independent and ultimately find out what they are made of. I will continue to push them and remember that when I feel defeated as a mother, that might mean that I am doing it right. Hopefully there will be more proud mom moments as I they show an understanding of the teachings.
