You Never Know Until You Try

This week I have proven to myself and my kids that you never know what you are capable of doing until you try. The constant juggling of work, family and racing continues to be difficult for me. I am still struggling to get enough time to train, enough time to spend with the family and enough time for continuing education for work. On of the recent struggles around the house has been working on the kids becoming more independent at home, taking on challenges and the importance of practicing/training.

Making the kids do more around the house has been very difficulty for me for many reasons. First there is convincing the kids that they can and MUST do the chore that I have assigned to them. Second is the patience I must behold as they attempt, fail, procrastinate and whine. I want them to be confident, I want them to feel accomplished but, man, I also want it done quickly and neatly. I know that perfection takes time. I know that they must do it over and over before they can do it faster, but come on, who has time to wait! Sometimes they finish more defeated due to the pushing from me, sometimes they have a smile on their face from accomplishing a task they were sure was way too difficult for them. I, on the other hand, always feel frustrated and defeated as mom in how hard I pushed them. This will make them better adults, right??

Today I saw a break through. The kids are on spring break. They wanted to go to The Jump Park, an indoor trampoline park. I gave them each a task to do around the house before we left. They all gladly and enthusiastically completed their tasks. Ok, ok so it may have been bribery that actually motivated them, but hey it worked! Afterward there was no whining, no defeat and one of the kids even said "so now I see how things can get done quickly if we all work together." Wow they do listen. One proud mom moment.

Part of being a mom is not only asking them push themselves hard but also leading by example. I feel that I must show them what dedication and determination can help them accomplish. As I go through this race season I never take a race for granted. When the kids ask "are you going to win this race mom?" I always respond "You never know how hard the others will ride, I am going to have fun and try my hardest." This weekend was one of those lessons for them and for me. I had not been training for this long of a distance. I have only been riding in races which are less than 30 miles or 3 hours long. This weekend I participated in a 6 hour race with some very tough competition. Again riding with ladies who compete at higher levels than I do, ride more often than I do, and train harder than I do. I went in with one goal, start off well, save some power for later and try to stay toward the front. I actually started very well, was in the lead during the first lap, second in second lap and then leader again in lap three. During lap four I was leading but my helmet light was fading. I had to stop. I did this knowing that I was giving up first place. As I completed the fourth lap and went into the fifth lap I was tired, feeling defeated and hitting the proverbial wall. I had to continue to tell myself "if you want it, you have prove that you want it more than your competition". This kept me motivated and moving. I tried to make up ground. I wanted to make sure I did not give up second place. I was hopeful to catch back up with first place. I never did find her until the finish, where she was waiting for me. tunefully I did not even believe that I could have finished second in this race. It was a great feeling to have ridden 50 miles so well, feeling accomplished and proud. I can only hope that my kids see that with determination you will accomplish more than you thought possible.

It takes quite a bit of determination, patience, and consistency see what you are made of. This is what separates the tough from the average, the achievers from the commoners, leaders from followers. I want my kids to continue to push themselves, be independent and ultimately find out what they are made of. I will continue to push them and remember that when I feel defeated as a mother, that might mean that I am doing it right. Hopefully there will be more proud mom moments as I they show an understanding of the teachings.

Keep Calm!!

Okay so I have had some severe writers block. I was doing great and then I realized there were many things that I was ignoring. Yes, I had an ADD moment. “Squirrel”.  I am going to get back on the band wagon.  I even have a blog that I started to write several weeks ago. I am on the fence about publishing it. It does not feel completed. Wait, Squirrel.

Okay, so maybe I can include below what I have been working on over the last few weeks. This will hopefully help spur on my writing process again.

Keep Calm and Carry On

This phrase has really become a cultural tag line over the last year.  Anything from “keep calm and play ball” to “keep calm and clean on”. I have recently tried to embody this tag line. I tend to overreact on occasions; not think through my actions, act before I have all the information. If I could “keep calm and carry on” during these moments, I would come out better in the end.

During the Winter Olympics the commentators were always commenting on how these athletes must learn to relax while accelerating on treacherous terrain. This really hit home for me. We need to relax. We need to take whatever comes at us and deal with it calmly, deliberately. Overreacting will cause you to hit the wall. It will slow down your progress. You need to feel that you have the time to react, time to digest, and time to get past the obstacle. If you feel rushed or out of control, you react out of reflex. If you have been practicing the calm approach then your reflex will be to stay calm. If you have been practicing while being unbalanced your reflex to over react could put you in danger.

Getting ready for my second race of the season, Chainbusters 3 hours of Lake Allatoona, while becoming familiar with my new Pacenti Cycle Design wheel set, I really had to embody the keep calm attitude. Scott’s Bicycle Centre did a great job building the wheels. I got to ride on them one time prior to the race. The race course was relatively flat with lots of flowy and curvy lines. Cornering is one thing I am really struggling with right now. When I see a switch back, I tend to over reach right before the turn, slow down too much and creep through. Having never been on this course I was unsure of what to expect. During the first lap I was decelerating way too much. On a muddy course that was the wrong thing to do. It caused me to struggle with getting through the mud, fatiguing my muscles and losing more confidence (and speed). I even had one rider behind me say “braking is your enemy”. I could not agree more! The second lap I continued to struggle. Finally on the third lap I stopped being tense about the turns, relaxed, thought through the cornering technique I have been working on and achieved smoother lines. I was still much slower than I wanted to be. Even though I was slower, the relaxation through the corners did provide me with a sense of more control.

The next race I faced some real stiff competition. It was the first of the SORBA Chattanooga race series, the Booker T. Pick Your Poison XC race. I rode in the women's open class. The other women in this class typically rode one or two classes higher than me. I knew it was going to be extremely important for me to stay relaxed, and breath. I needed to use my eyes to look at the trail ahead, be prepared for what is coming. I don’t need to mentally beat myself up before any race. I know this course, I know all the climbs, turns and tricky areas. While this gives me the ability to be prepared, it also gives me the tendency to over reach before I even get there. When I race on a course I have never ridden, I do not have any preconceived expectations. I started this race relaxed, too relaxed. I knew there was no way for me to podium. I went out not fighting. By the time I realized that I could be doing better I was too far behind to catch up. Then, the times were posted. I rode the fastest I had ever ridden on that trail. I was beyond happy. I felt great about my efforts. I may not have been in contention for the podium but I was proving my competitive stamina. I improved my time from last year by 3 minutes on each lap!

So here I am today. Faced with another course/trail that I have never ridden. Not only will this be a new trail but this is also a new series for me. I will be riding in a more sprint type competition. Only 2 laps, shorter course, and faster ladies to chase. Lots of reasons to overreact. Breath, focus, stay relaxed. This race is also my sons first big race. I have to set the example. Make this fun. Don't let him get overwhelmed by the pressure. Breath, focus, stay relaxed. I have to focus on the trail a head. Focus on what is to come, not worry about what is already or currently happening. I need to control what is to come. 

So where is the balance? Reach fast enough to keep on target but slow down enough to think through it. I have so much to change. Work on focus, work on breathing, work on relaxing. As changes are made, it will not always be perfect. It will be slow. The more you practice, the more comfortable you will become. Keep calm, get better. That is the target right; to get better. Keep calm and carry on. Now to make that my mantra.

Chain Busters Recreational Ale 3 hours of Mount Tabor recap

It was 17 degrees as we left my in-law's house at 6:50 am. I was wearing so many clothes I could have passed as a shopping cart homeless women. I had on 2 short sleeved shirts, one long sleeve shirt, arm warmers, my jersey top, compression stockings, 2 pairs of knee high socks, fleece lined leggings, my chamois and my Northface winter jacket. I looked over at my partner in crime and realize he was wearing his jacket, long sleeve shirt, short sleeve shirt, warm leggings and chamois. No where near the amount of clothes I had dawned and he was not the one about to expend hundreds of calories. It had been a long time since my husband had been able to join me at race. It was nice to have him with me, even if he made me look ridiculously over dressed.

I had been hydrating and carb loading the entire day prior. I had my morning oatmeal, dried apricots, yogurt, banana and almonds. I started my water bottle of pre-race hydration. On our way to the race I felt the pressure of the three elastic pant  bands over my bladder. Yep, I had hydrated myself well . After stopping off one time to empty the over hydrated bladder we finally arrived at the Mount Tabor Park.

We saw the Maxxis tape, lots of cars with bike racks, a few bikes leaning on cars but surprisingly few people out warming up. As we glanced around at the cars we realized that the majority of the people were being smart and sitting in their warm cars. After we parked, I got my number and rushed back to sit in the car for as long as I could. I was not going to warm up my legs on the bike this time. It was 19 degrees with a blistering wind. Just by being outside you were expending countless, precocious calories trying to stay warm. If you stopped moving, your muscles would cool down much too quickly. Really not worth the effort.

After doing the "it is ridiculously cold" jig during the racers meeting, we all got our gear and lined up. Knowing that I did not want to push off too hard without having warmed up I placed myself in the middle of the pack. The mass start went off well. While it was smart not to blast out of the gate, I did get stuck behind some inexperienced riders who were a little skittish of the closeness that is created by a mass start. Next time I will  defiantly get closer to the front.

We did one parade lap around a cement pathway and headed up the road to the trail head. The pack did not spread out as much as it should have. As I approached the left hand turn onto the trail it all came to a complete stop. We funneled through and finally started to get some resemblance of race speed. By this time I am starting to get into a groove and realized that my fingers are so cold that I cannot even feel the shifters. I just tried to ignore the cold and kept pedaling. I kept pace behind a few riders for a while then felt that I was not maintaining the speed I wanted. I passed a few people, started to pick up pace, then the reality of having not ridden this trail set in.

The Mount Tabor trail is relatively flat with an old school feel; lots of tight turns, lots of close trees and true single track. So, the first lap I was getting a feel for the course. Contributing to my first lap apprehension was the fact that I had not been on a mountain bike for at least 2 weeks. It had been bike trainer rides only for too long due weather that left trails unridable. After seeing several poor souls dealing with mechanicals and "chicking" some poor unexpecting guys, I made it through the first lap. Of course, as I approached the transition area I see Craig running away. Luckily I had packed some nutrition in my jersey. I had my organic baby food, which I have found to be perfect for these types of races. Easy to open, high water content, easy on the stomach and nutrient packed. You can even get baby food with a protein of your choice.

I started the second lap strong. At this point I had feeling back in my fingers and toes. I was warm and feeling good. I found a group of riders to pace behind. We had some short chats discussing the pin ball effects of the last few miles of the trail. Then the guy directly in front of me, unfortunately, grazed a tree which stopped him and me flat. The guys behind us rode on. As I started to ride back off, I realized my chain had slipped. After quickly resetting it, I was off again. Thank goodness I had feeling back in my fingers or it could have taken twice as long. I got back in the groove and pushed harder. The last part of the trail was not as bad as I really focused on keeping better balance through the tight turns and threading the bike through the tight trees. I thought I could keep a more consistent pace on this lap. But part of the old school feel to this trail was the tight switch backs at the very bottom of the climbs. As soon as you start to get some speed, you come to an obstacle that requires you to slow down significantly. It really was a speed killer for me. As I came round for the end of lap 2, ran across the timer. I looked at my watch, I had shaved off at least 30 seconds from my first lap time.

Pushing on I realized I was alone. There were no other riders that I could see. I started to have those mental conversations with myself that occur at least once a race. "Why am I pushing myself, why do I make myself suffer, oops focus on the trail. Man I need some training on how to get around switch backs better." The third lap went by fairly quicker. I found motivation through wanting to get out of the cold and getting back to my children. I had a good feel for the trail and was still feeling great. I still had on all the same clothes except my Northface winter coat. I was worried about sweating too much when I started the race. I was sweating, but surprisingly it was not causing any excessive body heat loss. I came around to the transition area, looked at the clock and realized that I did not have enough time to finish another lap before the 3 hours were up. So, with some difficulty unclipping from my pedals, I crossed the timing mat and turned in my timing chip.

I had a great start to the race season. It was a frigged start but that made it all that more memorable. I improved my time every lap (shave an additional 40+ seconds off during lap 3), had some great comradery with fellow bikers, rode a very different type of trail than I am use to and most importantly, won my race while having fun! Thank you Chain Busters for another great race day. Next one, 3 hours of Alltoona on February 22nd. In the mean time things I desperately need to work on: tight cornering, managing a mass start, unclipping more smoothly and getting back on the trails, weather permitting of course.

Take the Challange

Why is it when I hear “that is so hard” I want to go out and accomplish that task? “How can you manage the kids, work and competition?”, “That is such a hard trail, I would never ride it!”, “Why would anyone want to do something like that?” These words make my ears perk and my mind race. Is that a challenge? It’s on! It’s like telling a child “you can’t do that.”

But this week, reality has hit. Everything in life needs to be in moderation. Too much of a good thing IS a bad thing. I have been stressing for weeks, no months about the summer schedule. Making sure everyone in the family gets to do the things they want on the weekends. I wanted to commit to the South Eastern Race Championships (SERC), Craig had races he wanted to do as well as some he wants to volunteer for, Brady wanted to play baseball with a select team, Molly and Haley wanted to do both gymnastics and soccer. We were already at 2-3 events every weekend with no family time. I was overwhelmed. Then I decided that the kids’ sports were more important and I can race a few races but did not need to commit to a large series such as the SERC. So I resigned to only doing races that fit in their schedule. I was fine with that. We could make that work.

Then Craig and I, asked Brady what he wanted to do this summer and instead of saying “play baseball” as expected, he says “I don’t know, maybe race my bike and play soccer or do tumbling.” I was taken aback. We had committed to a team. What do we do now?  Do we let him think it is okay to give up on a commitment? Do we force the issue? What kind of lesson do we want him to learn? We talked about this incessantly for several days. We agreed that we could commit to 10 tournaments over the spring to summer. Then the team schedule came out. We were not ready for that. This was one challenge we could not muster the strength to overcome. So with much regret and remorse, we resigned from the baseball team. We are now in the postmortem phase. I am sure this will be discussed by many, including us, for several days to come. I am okay with that, we have done what is right for our family. Brady is completely fine with it (which tells me how burnt out he really is). He is ready for other challenges this summer.

My race season finally started. It was not a warm, blistery start. It was 28 degrees and windy! In fact there were several times during my race that I though “why am I doing this to myself?” Then the “you are bigger than this” determination kicked in (or otherwise known as stupidity) and I kept going. We sometimes suffer to feel alive, to remind ourselves that fun does come with pain at times. Pain is only temporary; your accomplishments stay forever. After riding in four shirts, 2 pairs of longs socks, stockings, chamois, fleece lined leggings, 2 pairs of gloves, arm warmers, a neck gator, and a skull cap for two and a half hours, I was proud of myself. It did not matter how I finished, it was just the fact that I did finish, in miserable conditions.  I rode my heart out, every lap harder than the first. I wanted to show my kids that if you want something bad enough, you have to persevere through the bad to get to the good.  It’s all about balance AND moderation. Finding that sweet spot. I was proud of myself for my determination and yes, I have a gold metal to show for my efforts. Summer will have more races to come. It sounds like a lot of those races I will now have Brady in tow. I am looking forward to him riding and learning this fabulous sport with me. That is of course, if he wants to.

There are other things in my life with which I am struggling to find that sweet spot of moderation. Yet more challenges to overcome. I have been trying to cut back on the amount of TV the kids are watching. I want them to entertain themselves without the TV. It has been fun watching them play together, use their imagination and re-discover some of their toys. Unfortunately, this has not come without the increased screaming and yelling, crying and running. I think if I can get over the sensory overload, we can make this work. It is very tough for me though. I like control, I like organization, I like quite. Without the TV the kids have not adhered to any of those! I am going to stick with it! Sometimes you have to suffer the bad to get to the good.

The harder the task, the more interested I seem to be. I need those challenges; I need that sense of accomplishment. That is just me. It is how I am wired. I do not want others to suffer but I know my personal suffering can sometimes help me put the bigger picture together. If you want it, you will fight for it. A time will come when other challenges seem more attractive. Seek those out too. Life is about exploration. If the pioneers never took the risk of moving out west, our world would be very different. You take risks every day. It is balancing those risks with the benefits/rewards that count. That is the true challenge!

My challenge to you: get out there and push that envelope of comfort. Try something new. Look at Mikey, he likes it!

Its All About Balance

Balance is what keeps the world going round. So I hear. Of course there is also money, love, faith, family, Etc....  This week balance has been a challenge. I have struggled with balancing so many issues; Work-life, frustration-understanding, tight cornering-over correction. With my typical home life being off balanced by Craig being gone all week, my world was leaning hard in one direction and it was not comfortable.

Summon the picture of Lady Justice. She holds balanced scales in her left hand. In her right hand she is holding a sword. She is blindfolded. She cannot see what is coming toward her. What will throw those scales off balance? There is always a threat and she is prepared with a sword. A women's sword in today's world can be many things; solitude, devotion, faith, anger, selfishness, community.

So many times I see women lean hard on one thing to balance themselves. Only focusing on work, on family, on appearances, on hobbies, on sports. They feel balanced that way. If you want to do well you will put in 110% effort. So what happens when you want to be good at everything you accomplish. You can only give so much of yourself before you have nothing left. This is when you should surround yourself with a cabinet of friends and family you trust, will help motivate you, support you and yes, balance you. I am not one to do things half way. That is what makes us competitive and successful right? Or is this is what causes us to burn out and loose connections with others around us.

Over the last few years I have learned the consequences of not balancing life's activities. Most of the time my lessons have come the hard way. I use to bring home work to finish. I would then spend the entire evening laminating the responsibilities I had at home because I knew at some time I had to work. I tried spending more time at work, going in earlier or having one late night per week. Then I would get comments from my kids, such as "You are never home". This takes great balance! I have finally learned that work stays at work and when at home, commit 100% to home. If it does not get done at work, address the work process.

Then there is training. Over the last few weeks, the weather has not been cooperative with outside training. Not to mention not having my partner in crime to help turn things around at home. I have been trying to use my indoor bike trainer. That has not worked. I have lacked the self motivation to push myself. I need excitement, a visual challenge. I have been trying to read articles about techniques; especially about cornering since I tend to slip. So now with race season starting, I am in the worst shape I have been in for the last year. This balancing act is not going in the right direction at this time. I am very disappointed in myself. We have some great sponsors for the Velo Vixen's this year: Over There Causal Dining, The Partnership for Families, Children, and Adults, Scott's Bicycle Center, East Ridge Bicycle's, Pacenti Cycle Design, Bike Tours Direct, Thrive Studio, The Crash Pad, Scenic City Multisport, Outdoor Chattanooga, 212 Market Restaurant, Hands on Healing, Road ID and Nuun Hydration. I need to represent our sponsors and our team with great results. I need push myself harder.

So to train harder I have to sacrifice. Sacrificing leads to getting frustrated about giving up on something. That means I am not giving everything 110%. How then to balance that frustration with understanding. I know we have all done it. We are frustrated with how something is affecting us. We then latch and transfer that frustration onto the next thing that comes along. It may be that you heard "MOM" for the 4 th time in 2 minutes, it may be that a child just ran past you in the hallway of your house, it may be that you see someone else having fun and you feel that you have no time for fun, it could be the one piece of clothing that is not in the hamper. It is that last straw. The last thing that just happened at the wrong time. Now you feel guilty for taking your frustration out on the wrong subject. Now you know you are off balance again. Darn it You used your sword to deflect but you still ended up with scales leaning toward one direction.

There are so many topics that this could be applied to: the balance of healthy food and special treats, educational material and reading for fun, cleaning the house and playing with your kids. I could go on FOREVER! Sometimes we over correct. Sometimes we just do what we know how to do. We forget about the balance and just keep going until we break. When is enough, too much? I just hope to get things back balanced for the appropriate amount of devotion to kids, family work and training. I know this may be a fantasy, but let me have it. We all have to have a dream.

First Race of the Year

Ready, Set, Gggggg…….Just Kidding, Girl Sit Back Down

I know I heard the starting gun go off?!  Right? I made arrangements for the kids, I painstakingly used my indoor trainer due to poor weather and poor trail conditions. I ate my dark greens, protein and carbohydrates. I hydrated the day before. Took my bike to Scott’s Bicycle Center to have it tuned up (not only did they tune it, they also cleaned it for me!), got some spare parts from East Ridge Bicycles. I had my gear bag packed and my dad had graciously volunteered to help me as a pit crew member.  Everything was ready and set in place. But … (you knew there was a “but” coming didn't you)… the race was canceled.

I can’t say if felt physically ready for the race. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise (you see what I did, made the negative into a positive; this is what I want my kids to learn). I now have time to get more training in before the next 3 hour race in 2 weeks. The other bonus is more family time.  The kids have been so good this week and deserve some special time. We headed to my parents’ house in Athens, GA, survived the torrential rains, played Monopoly, Uno, took a walk and went to the movies.

Next week starts a whole new set of challenges for this biker. Not only will I need to let the trails recover from the freeze/thaw conditions and rain from this week, I will also be single parenting as Craig goes on one of his long work trips. I am so glad to have friends that understand the struggles of raising kids with no other family in the same town to help with the daily needs. I also have a great mom who can come up from 3 hours away to help for a few days when needed.  This will be first full week of full on activities since the year started: baseball, boy scouts, daisy scouts, gymnastics, work and somewhere fit in some training for the next race.

Of course this brings on the biggest struggle of why do I work and not stay home with the kids. Oh, yeah, I remember, I am not the stay at home type. That still does not help comfort me when the kids ask why I have to go to work. Or help when I am struggling to get to school before aftercare ends. This is the daily race I am never prepared for. This is the juggling ball that I feel I am always struggling to keep in the air. Yet it is the most important one. So yes, I did hear the race gun go off for the first time this year. Only it was not for the bike race. It was for the start of this year’s mother’s triathlon. Family, Work and Health!

Go home and hug your loved ones. Then don’t let go of their hand and drag them outside! 

Setting Up for the New Year

As Chattanooga starts the process of hosting an Iron Man Triathlon, I cannot help think about all the mothers who run a triathlon everyday. Work, family health. Whether a women works in or outside the home she has three balls (or more) in the air at all times. I am no exception. I juggle work, family and mountain bike racing.

See, I feel very passionate about women not only having time for themselves but also being a role model of health for their children. I have found this balance with participating in mountain biking through a wonderful all sports club for women: The Velo Vixens. Last year I started racing on the Velo Vixen team. Through my participation, I have noted the excitement that my three kids have latched onto by seeing their parents compete as well as be physically active.

That is the type of example I would love for more women to set for the youth. You do not have to have children to go forth and excite children about being active. No matter your level of participation in a sport, you can change a child's life by reaching out to help him/her realize the same excitement you experience. This year, I will work on this by not only encouraging my kids to ride their bikes more but also through helping the Velo Vixens sponsor a local youth mountain bike race series.

So, as I prepare for the new year of 2014, I am balancing my children's sports schedule, my race schedule, my work schedule and most importantly family time. This is already daunting but necessary. Throughout this year I hope to be able to give some insight into how this mother's triathlon progresses. School for the kids starts back tomorrow, winter baseball training starts and Gymnastics is back in full swing. Of course I am not doing this alone. My partner and co-pit crew member is also a supportive, active member of this team.

Go out and inspire!